she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
