I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
