dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So. Much. Porn.
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