he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
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