but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
