if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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