bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
