On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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