marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
