Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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