I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
a search helicopter?!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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