i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
