i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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