didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
