Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
