..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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