True but thats because hes a fetus.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
