She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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