I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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