I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
