come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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