The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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