the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
