My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
