Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
