i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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