i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
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