I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
