Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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