You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
