Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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