btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
