I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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