Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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