I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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