First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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