Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
