I think scott just propositioned me for sex
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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