All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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