did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
