My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
