youre lurking in front of me
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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