Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
