Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
