yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
