how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
