Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
