Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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