it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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