i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
