He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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