He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
